Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
