he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
