On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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