i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
