That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
