lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
third nipple confirmed
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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