I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just had sex on a roof
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
