Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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