ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
