that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
