I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
