I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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