Me. At least after what I've been through.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
