this boner is exhausting
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
