is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
