3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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