you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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