Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
