Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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