Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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