I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize