i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
People in love make me want to vomit
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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