life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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