i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I love you.
Bad choice
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
