How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
