oh god the rape fog is back!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
