White coat. Heels.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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