I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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