I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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