i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
