What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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