Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
there is glitter all over my balls
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
