the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I did not marry a roomba.
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