We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
