the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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