why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I could fuck to npr.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
