when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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