Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
