He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
