At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize