I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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