Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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