quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
