Where is the hickey?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
