You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
