The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
