@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
