I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
