And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
