mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
