And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize