Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
