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6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i think my tv is drunk
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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