Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Porn is love you can see.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
