What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
