3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We're like a lot better than the average bears
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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