Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
