No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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