Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
